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»Haha suck it
Tuesday, 28 February 2012

Oh lordie. Whaaat have I done. I wrote implied femmeslash. My soul will never be the same.
Today was pretty good. Only downside was the Speech Day auditions. Sigh. I really don't usually get jittery onstage. Or at least, I've never really frozen onstage before. I usually only panic before and after the performance. Until today. I could actually hear my own heartbeat while reading the passage. Basically, I've kinda blown any chance I'vs got at being the speech day emcee.

And then internationalisation training. It was surprisingly fun and I somehow didn't completely screw up the dance. It's kinda weird, I'm not really all that pepped for the trip. I guess I'll be spazzing when we're at the airport. I AM kinda looking forward to getting closer to the friends I already have and making new ones, as cheesy as it sounds.
Really don't know what else I can possibly add.
words spilled @ Tuesday, February 28, 2012 / leave goosebumps here

»Sometimes, you just gotta appreciate the little things
Monday, 27 February 2012

Sitting at my dining table, at 5 am, munching cookies. The radio's on and there isn't a single stirring of noise besides. It's like time's just frozen completely.
It's absolutely wonderful.
It's a luxury that not many can afford.
And for that, I'm grateful.
words spilled @ Monday, February 27, 2012 / leave goosebumps here

»Sorting out feelings
Sunday, 26 February 2012

Been having another bout of insomnia again, so it seems to be about time I write another blogpost. Get some things off my chest.

Gonna work my way up, shit feelings first.

@Wei Yee. Sorry about Friday. I was being insensitive and kind of a douche. I didn't mean to kick you but that isn't an excuse. I swear I've deleted the photos. If its any consolation, I'll let you kick me back.

@Joelle I know I accidentally kicked/elbowed/ punched you a few times too. Sorry :(

Aight, apologies out of the way, onto fluffier subjects... Apparently, canoeing did pretty well this year and got quite a few awards. Fluffles came in third for her event :D And I kinda sorta agreed to get her a cookie. Thinking subway cookie.
Toggled with some more settings on my phone, wandered around vivo the whole day with the mothership, didn't do my homework. Washed my shoes and got my surabaya gloves (where the fish do you buy painting goggles?!).
Thought of story ideas, discarded story ideas. Thought about Sarah's story ideas, got squeamish at prospect of writing said story idea.

Yea, that's pretty much the all the shit I can lift off the top of my head. Night, lovelies.
words spilled @ Sunday, February 26, 2012 / leave goosebumps here

»Angry about nothing. Again.
Wednesday, 22 February 2012

-.- caution, lots of ranting gibberish up ahead -.-

Just saw a lot of rather rude comments about the Hitler speech we were shown in class. Like calling the audience brain-washed idiots.
Now, I'm not gonna try to say that they weren't brainwashed. They totally were. But you've also got to keep in mind, Hitler was a VERY charismatic leader. You are no different from the audience. The only reason why you're able to look at him and laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of his speech and actions is because you have the advantage of being an observer. You already know the man he is. You know the terrible things he would continue on to do. The audience didn't.
What they saw was a man fighting for their nation, for the people. They saw a confident leader who would be capable of cleansing the country of impurities and bringing it back to its former glory. They were weak and mentally vulnerable and if you think you're any better than them, that in their positions, that you would react with anything other than a roar of approval, clearly, the lesson is wasted on you and you've learnt absolutely nothing from the mistakes of the generations before us.
And a century from now, while you lay cold in the dirt, your descendants will laugh at how you were so confident in yourselves, how bloody arrogant to think that you were above manipulation and deceit when all that kind of thinking did for you was make you all the more vulnerable.

._. Rant over ._.

Sigh, I should be going to shower instead of ranting in a blogpost. But really, you are just as human as everyone else. And if you disagree, it only makes you more so.

Wei Yee didn't come to school today :( it's weird not to have someone sitting next to me to have tickle matches with. What else can I say, nothing much happened today besides the usual. Acted really gay with Sarah, Christine gave us her 'I no approve' look while watching us sing love songs to everyone else in class, fluffles was fluffy, Hui Xuan was a 害群之马 and ruined it for the rest of us by using up Fluffles' fluffy quota and Isabel was British with scones and jam and tea.

Aight, really, gonna go bathe.
words spilled @ Wednesday, February 22, 2012 / leave goosebumps here

»Prompts and chinese
Tuesday, 21 February 2012

I was really fucking bored in chinese. So I asked Hui Xuan for a prompt so that I could write a drabble.I think it turned out pretty good, if a bit rushed. So I ask some people to read it and they can't read my atrocious handwriting.
I planned on typing it onto blogger so I could share it that way instead.
I left the paper in school.
I'm a colossal moron.
I'm writing it back from scratch and a vague memory of what Hui Xuan's prompt was。
I hate hate hate him. The sight of him brings my blood to a boil, fury rising in my throat. I want to tell him to go fuc- No. Control. I Must keep my emotions in control.  Logic would, no, will triumph over hot blooded passion. Foolish, foolish man, him and his ideals! I will kill him, before he gets to me.
I will not be Daniel.
What I wrote:
How dare he? How dare he stand up so straight, as if he was still human? As if he had any right to stand while Daniel's body lays cold! The smug bastard, I can see it in his eyes! He wears his guilt like a badge of honour...he thinks I don't know. HahahabutIknowknowledgeissuccessisweaponbutstillcoldstillrottingstillNOT


He stands tall with his head bowed low and I almost burst out laughing. How can they not see?

"Today we mourn the loss of Daniel Emseen, who died of unidentified reasons...'


I want to shout, scream, push that snake onto the ground where he belongs and tear at his face until he's nothing but a bloody mess and every bit as dead as Daniel but a thousand times wor-bloodlustbloodragebloodmoregorepain!RETRIBUTIONMURDERBETRAYAL! RESTRAINT!




His time will come. Soon, but not now. I will not taint Daniel's final goodbye with blood. Especially not his. He walks over to my side, the scum. He mutters half assed condolences, sympathies with no meaning and it is all I can do not to react. Keeping my face carefully blank, I act as if he's talking to the woman on his other side. She's weeping heavily, an aunt, perhaps?
As soon as he is silent, I make my way to the casket. I feel his eyes following me around, the scumbag. His mother, my mother-in-law, is crying, great heaving sobs. I reach out to give a reassuring squeeze on her should-

'It is indeed regrettable, that the body of his beloved wife cannot be with him...'


'Despite many days of searching. She is however, presumed dea...'

Looking around, nobody seems to react to this news. But I'm here! I'm alive! I"m, I'm...

I turn to look at him. He says not a word but raises a finger to his lips...
words spilled @ Tuesday, February 21, 2012 / leave goosebumps here

»Haribo gummies and shtuffies
Friday, 17 February 2012

I just love mega haribo roulettes so much. They're so squishy and chewy and vaguely sour. Spice and and sugar have a place in my heart but sour will be my truest love~
Oh yes, saw Hock Lam on the train back with jasmin. He's such an adorable, dopey turtle.
The CCA showcase today was nerve wracking. It's weird being on stage. I feel a lot less nervous when I stare straight at the audience than when I try to pretend that they're not there. Hrm.
I don't have a lot of stuff to untangle out today, so I guess I'll keep it in for another day. It's the weekend, after all. No deadlines to worry about for a day so I think the insomnia'll back off for a day.
words spilled @ Friday, February 17, 2012 / leave goosebumps here

Monday, 13 February 2012

I'm not gonna lie. I love attention. There's just this thrill that I get when I step out on stage. A rush of adrenalin, if you will. It's a heady feeling, just as addictive as any narcotic I could imagine, just au naturel. Just thinking about it, that feeling when I'm hiding behind the curtains, waiting for the cue to enter, sends my heart racing and my hand clammy.
In case you haven't figured it out by now, this is gonna be one of those posts where I just ramble to straighten out my head. I think it should help with my insomnia. Oh yes, the insomnia.
I've been waking up at odd times in the middle of the night and been unable to sleep yet unable to fully wake up either. It's all very irritating and leaves me in a shitty, kinda moody state.
Tried making mochi today and failed terribly. Sorry, lovely G2, it seems I won't be able to bring delicious treats tomorrow. Happy Valentines Day, nonetheless. Too lazy to write cards, perhaps I'll just give free hugs tomorrow :D

words spilled @ Monday, February 13, 2012 / leave goosebumps here

»Gonna be annoyingly optimistic here
Wednesday, 8 February 2012

The nature of life is just a series of crap things that happen to you with breaks in between. It's just a question of what you're gonna do with it while you're here. Moan and make a hell lotta noise while wasting air and space and stating the above mentioned captain obvious fact or smile and take them graciously. Life is a journey, not a destination. There is nothing that you can do to beat the game but you sure as hell can try to set the high score.
words spilled @ Wednesday, February 08, 2012 / leave goosebumps here

»Quickie Post (Yeah, right)
Thursday, 2 February 2012

High on chocolate and spazz~ just came back from stoning outside 7-11 with Jasmin after LD. It's practically the weekend already, tomorrow's timetable is slack as hell. Art (stone), Home Ec(teasing fluffles), LSCEP (pass out on my desk) and science (which I absolutely adore).
Then gonna make nutella and strawberry mochi with Sarah while Bells and Fluffles trace out the floorplan.
Happy happy happy~
(edit: did I mention our cca juniors came in today? They're so... SQUISHY)
words spilled @ Thursday, February 02, 2012 / leave goosebumps here