I really do not know what else I can say to you. You are chaining yourself to your past, not ZD, not JY, not Kelly or Crystal or the bazillion other people who have wronged or betrayed you or slighted you in some manner. You. You' re the only one who can undo the the chains. It's an addictive feeling, isn't it? Just like when you get an mc to skip PE. Of course you have a reason and it's entirely valid, But MCs end. When your MC runs out, you have to join everyone else and life is gonna go on. When did your MC run out?
You have a responsibility, Yiling, to live your life to the fullest. Its not a choice, not an option, not something for you to choose. Because yes, someone who refuses to see beyond their current dilemma is narrow-minded, ignorant and even a little bit pathetic. Don't complain about other people being judgemental and telling them to fuck off because at least they care enough to notice. You may not realise, but they are, in their own way, trying to help you.
Being a pessimist is like eating junk food, It's fun and once in a while, its refreshing to see things from a jaded perspective. But if you plan on going through life eating junk food 24/7, expect your health to go down the drain and don't you dare complain when people call you a fat-ass, cos you are. Same for pessimism. Expect your social life to go down the drain and don't you dare complain when people call you a wet blanket or a whiner, because you are. 

Name:If you know it, you know it.
Age:Pfft, age is just a number
Birth: -day cake!
Adores::D
That basically described nothing! Isn't this fun?

I might write something here one day. Might