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Saturday, 6 August 2011

My mom's threatening to send me back to Indonesia if I don't do well. I'm so confused.I'm trying so hard not to fall to peer pressure. It's so hard not to go with the flow and just let your grades go to shit. She keeps harping on about how it's not because I'm stupid, and I'm just lazy and how useless I am. I'm starting to believe her. The emotional part of me is just folding down and giving up while my critical side wants to get up and do something and I'm so confused as to what I should do, or whether it'll even make any difference. She says that if it weren't for me, she could've become a stewardess or something, but she couldn't because of me.Maybe I've lost whatever spark of intelligence or giftedness I had. Maybe I should go to Indonesia and be a loser with my dad. Or maybe I should just die and not tie anybody down.
words spilled @ Saturday, August 06, 2011 / leave goosebumps here